PONDERINGS ON THE EVE OF A HALF-CENTURY OF LIFE
I recall the exact location on my garden wall. I recall repeatedly jumping off it with my arms flapped wide, determined to FLY. I recall trying many times. I recall failing miserably but stubbornly believing in my head that there must be a way. If birds could do it, then so could I!
I was 4 years old. I finally had to accept that that was a dream I would not achieve without some apparatus assistance.
But I flew many times in other ways….and of course, like that day on the wall, I fell many times too.
Many roads lead to Rome and many roads lead to getting to 50.
Some random highlights and lowlights on my road that come to mind include serving Bono his vegetables when I worked at a Dublin restaurant, moving countries 6 times in 20 years, donating a kidney, winning a green card in an Irish lottery, shaking Al Gore’s hand when working on the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta (I did say “random” didn’t I?) and narrowly escaping the 2013 Westgate massacre in Nairobi by leaving the mall just before the shooters entered.
The best highlight in my life reel is the 3 brilliant and healthy kids I parent – they are my greatest teachers of patience and surrender amongst other things.
Another best is doing work I love with lots of creative freedom (cue – this post is “work”).. and I never take having good health for granted either.
I’ve been very lucky. Reading this, you might think I led a charmed life so far. That’s a funny thought for me too because there were many moments and experiences which were far from charming, believe me!
Take my weight and body image for example. I’d say I feel totally free in that respect now.. but I battled with it like I battled with my mind for about 20 years. Working through the battles in my mind caused my external image to shift too.
I did that through shifting perspective, through interpreting what was happening in my world in a different way. Don’t wish for different circumstances, wish for a different way of experiencing them.
The life events themselves are not what counts.
We don’t always have control over the events themselves, but we do have control over how we respond to them. Though that in turn does influence future events. We have a lot more control over our external world than most people realize – but do it from the inside out!
I only really mastered shifting my experience of my life events in the past 10 years. Life would have felt very different if I had known how to do that early on. I’m very passionate about helping others to do it too. Life feels much easier that way. It’s been my main focus in my work these past years.
That’s briefly what’s been happening up to now.
What’s next? I’m clear on that too – at least for the next 20 or 30 years. I’ll update my vision again after that ?.
Without a doubt, the work I’m helping clients to do is to step up, level up and earn well as an online coach. Learn how to get paid well for your services. I’m a business coach for online coaches – but what’s more accurate is I’m an inner alchemist for my clients. If you alchemize the gunk in your mind – the fear, the lack, the victim consciousness.. you get the gold in life that’s on the other side of that.
The key ingredient? Letting go of what others think and of the need for the love, approval and recognition. That doesn’t mean others are in any way ‘bad’, it’s not about them, it never is. It’s about how we attach to the need for their approval and in doing so, we don’t do what we really want to do nor say what we truly want to say. We live a compromised life and run a compromised online business.
True freedom is truly letting go of the need for those externally obtained things. It doesn’t mean I don’t want it, but I don’t want to define myself by it. I don’t want to depend on anything or anyone outside of me to feel good. Not an easy feat and I’m far from ‘there’, but I’ve had tastes of it and it’s getting much better.
The more SOLID that you become inside of yourself, the less of a need you have to make compromises so that others will accept you into their tribe. That’s freedom.
Make your own tribe, your own inner-world, your top priority.
Make your vision so potently clear. Know your values. Know your standards. And live by them. Commit to exacting standards. Look at the lives and mindsets of others who did it and learn from them how they got there. Choose to believe that you will get there too. How they got there isn’t random. Your inner world dictates your outer world. Get that sorted and you will FLY – without jumping off a wall and desperately flapping your arms. That’s my plan anyway.
Want to join me? You know where my inbox is ?.