I’ve had 2 interesting conversations in the past few days.
I hesitated to lump them together in the same blog, but as different as the stories are, they both support my point.. which I will get to immediately.
ASSUME THE BEST IN PEOPLE! CELEBRATE THEM! They might actually be doing BETTER than you think!!!
I admit.. and especially in the personal development industry, things aren’t always as “glossy” as they seem. In fact, I have sometimes felt disillusioned by how “less than perfect” the “oh so perfect” ones seemed.
Until I got, that the real “PERFECT” was owning it all… the dark side and the light side.. and being as courageously transparent as possible about it all.
The true pioneers are those that lead inspite of their apparent “deficiencies” the ones who can still show up, inspire, motivate and demonstrate that taking aligned action leads to a transformed life and that no matter what, you can always keep growing, keep striving and keep moving forward.
But here’s the thing that really gets my goat… which leads me to those two conversations I had the past few days.
Conversation number 1: A phenomenally successful inspirational leader came up in conversation with a friend. “He’s on cocaine” she said. “Noone can maintain that level of upbeatedness without drugs.”
My thought was: isn’t it so damn sad that if a person does massive transformational work on themselves and achieves amazing levels of high-vibe JOY, that the average person decides that they are “drugged up”?
Another common example of this human behavior default amongst women is the weight-loss. Lose 10lbs in a healthy, vibrant, aligned way and watch some people decide “she is stressed”, “she needs to be careful” and “she better not lose anymore”… because “that can’t be healthy”. This, by the way, is part of the reason women self-sabotage when they are reaching their goal.. they will have to deal with this reaction and that attention and judgment is scary!
It’s RARE (very rare) to hear “KUDOS BROTHER/KUDOS SISTER! You are a true inspiration. Keep on growing and leading by example” from the average person.
Conversation number 2… a friend explained how their friend (let’s call him Joe) was having real challenges with his son. Joe’s son has a ton of money. Joe’s son is living the good life. Joe (the father) has “no interest in money” according to my friend. Joe has no idea how his son is making this money and finds it all very suspicous and problematic.
My thought was: maybe it is suspicous. Maybe the son is bringing money in from really dodgy deals. But THEN AGAIN…maybe he’s not! Maybe the father (Joe) has massive blocks about money. Maybe Joe can’t believe that it’s possible to create abundance in an ethical way. Maybe Joe thinks it’s wrong to enjoy that abundance and have good experiences. Maybe Joe believes that rich people are greedy, selfish and evil. Maybe Joe fears that other people will judge him/his son if they discover that Joe’s son is RICH. Maybe he fears their jealousy and envy. Maybe Joe’s son has given up trying to explain to his father how he created his abundance. Maybe Joe’s son is one of the many entrepreneurs who feel saddened by the fact that he can’t fully share and celebrate his success with probably the people he is closest to in his life .. because of their money stories.
So of course it’s entirely possible that both my friends were accurate with their judgments here, who knows.
But my point is.. even if they were accurate this time round, I am 100% sure that as many “fakes” as there are out there, there are also some very genuine, committed and massively upbeat people out there who have done the work on themselves and are genuinely reaping the benefits of that.
It’s honestly not an easy road to travel either. Being that aligned, upbeat, positive person can seriously rub people up the wrong way. It reinfores for the other what they already know about themselves… that they are not playing full out on their own lives. And since that is too hard to look at, it’s much easier to make that seemingly “irritating person” WRONG. Putting the other person down is the easiest way for the ego to rise… temporarily at least (it never lasts).
So another way to react to those “rubs” when someone just appears too “perfect” is to go inside.. to get curious about why the sting came. It’s never anything to do with the other person, but that person can become a brilliant guide to what you really want to work on in yourself… because if it stings, it’s because of something inside of YOU that you are not happy with. So either work on accepting it about yourself, or work on changing it.
Learn to love the sting. Learn to use the sting as the start of a journey of self-discovery and growth.